Last night I watched thailand G-Movie, Bromance. I’m not going to tell you the story, what I’m going to tell you: I’ve experienced what Bank has experienced. I know how it feels to be left behind by someone you love, and this one you love is leaving you to get married with a girl.. It hurts a lot.

I know this guy from social media. Let’s just call him J. He was using profile pic of a photo he took when he went to Madame Tussaud museum in Thailand. He wore slim fit orange T-shirt. He was cute. He was older than me. He was mature. He was someone I adore. We talked. We chatted. After some time, we decided to take things more serious (we didn’t have anniversary date or anything cos at that time we decided not to measure our relationship by how long we’ve been together, but from our commitment. Silly me).

He works at a bank in Central Jakarta. We sometimes met up in a hotel we booked together to spend the night. Mainly because that time, I still attended college in Central Java. So when I had holiday, I would go back home and visit Jakarta to meet him. I think our relationship was special, and we were together for more than a year…

But something quite disturbing me from our relationship was: he never let me to look or see at his cellphone. Whenever I touch his cellphone, he would quickly grabbed it back from me and changed topic… Back then, I don’t think it was a big problem. I just thought that he was an introvert guy. So no problem for me.

But after our relationship reached more than a year, he suddenly disappear. He wouldn’t reply my texts, chats, nor messages. After some time, I decided to call him. Someone picked up the call. The guy sounded really just like J, but he pretended that his cellphone’s signal was bad and he could not hear my voice. He kept saying “hello” and then shut my call.

I was heartbroken.
If he really wants to break up with me, he could just say it to my face straightforward. I felt empty after that miserable call attemp.

Not long after, a text came in:
“Saya bukan J. Saya sepupunya. J sudah dipindah ke Manado sama istrinya.”

A number he always use to text me, and the guy said that he was J’s nephew? And he said J already had a wife?
That text stroke me on the head and heart.

So that’s the reason he never let me look at his cellphone, because he already had a wife.

“Fuck you,” that was all I can say that time, “You fucking asshole.”

That time was my second heartbroken moment. It felt like the sky crumbled, my world ended.
Exaggerating, didn’t I? But that was what I felt that time. And Bank (from Bromance) happens to experience almost the same thing with what I had experience.

And the break-up scene from Bromance somehow brought me back to that time, when I was still with J.

I didn’t cry thou. It’s a good sign:
I’ve let him go.
I let him go to have his beautiful small family with his wife.
I let you go, J.
Be safe.
Thanks for the memories we had, the time we spent together.
I thank you, my bad romance.