This is the most random post I’ve ever made so far. I’m starting to hate people around me. This hatred are getting bigger and bigger. I’m afraid I can no longer contain this myself.

I’ve reached a point where patience bores me and fake smile annoys me. I’m tired of trying: trying to smile, trying to act tough, trying to keep my feelings to myself, tired of hypocrisy. But then, if I become the real me, I believe I will be the most hated person on earth. No one will like me, yet I love to be loved. I don’t mind saying harsh words to those ungrateful people. But then society will judge me as uneducated person.

I hate how people judge, yet how stupid they can be. They believe what other people said, but not what they see with their own eyes. I hate how stupid people trying so hard to defend religions, like defending religions will grant them a free ticket to heaven.

I’m 23 and at this point I’m tired of everything. Everything is fake. I need something real. Something genuine.

Why should I say “you’re not good at this” while I can say “you’re the shittiest person I’ve ever met”? Why should I not hurt other people feeling while they are keep hurting mine? Why Jesus teaches us to love our enemies? They are not worth it. What’s the point of becoming a good person? Heaven? Heart content? Because of this trying-to-be-nice attitude, we become a fake person: talking behind someone else’s back.

I don’t know, maybe I’m very tired with my new routines, maybe I need a break.